Is your negativity costing you relationships?

Unless you are Eyeore, most people would never think of themselves as being negative. You've never heard someone say "Yeah, I'm a pretty negative person, you're probably going to find me annoying." We don't do it on purpose and in most cases, it's sort of a low level negativity hiding just below the surface of our own awareness. It sounds like this:

That's never going to work.

I don't like ______.

Why does she do that?

There's not enough time.

She's so annoying.

I/he/she should ______.

I don't want to.

I don't feel like it.

Most of the time when you hear yourself or someone else saying these things, we think it's just an observation of a factual situation, but it's really a thought disguised as negativity and we don't even recognize it.

There is really two sides to every coin, right? So if something is negative, no matter what we're talking about, there is something positive about it also, right? The reason we know that is true is because nothing ever becomes positive or negative until we assign a thought to it. And any one topic could be negative to me and yet, positive to you. It all depends on what we think or believe.

It's why our circumstances are ALWAYS neutral. These are the facts of the situation - something that can be proven in a court of law. Simply facts. They only become positive or negative when we assign a thought to it.

So where is the control over negativity? IN OUR THOUGHTS!

Let's use an example.

Your best friends boyfriend cheated on her. So, to make it more neutral, we really have to make that statement as fact based as possible. Let's say it this way:

Amy's boyfriend Sam kissed another girl at the date night event while still being Amy's boyfriend.

It's already got you kind of mad, doesn't it? You can certainly chose to think of Sam in a negative way. I'm not suggesting we like Sam for his choice. But we can make a conscious decision to focus on the value fidelity has in your life and how being faithful is such a beautiful thing. Or we can talk about how awful cheating is and how no one should ever do it because its horrible.

Which serves you better? Which attracts more positivity? More Love? More generosity?

There's no upside to talking negatively all the time. Talking positively begets more positivity. But with no negativity, we can easily forget positivity. Without pain, we don't know healing. Without clouds, we can't enjoy the clear skies. The contrast is what makes us remember. So it's all a gift - the negative and the positive. But try to resist the negativity by leaning into the other side of the coin more often than not.

It's like the tale of two wolves. A young boy asks his elder to describe the battle within one's self. The elder tells him there is a battle raging within him between two wolves: one represents evil like anger, greed, envy, and the other represents good qualities like love, peace and kindness. The elder tells the young boy that the wolf that wins is the one you feed.

Negativity has a place. Keep it in its place. Feed the Positivity.

How do you want to show up in your life and what kinds of people and opportunities do you want to attract? Take a look at the results in your life as far as relationships are concerned. Are you surrounded by the kinds of people you want to be surrounded by? Are you contributing to the world in the way you want to be? If not, it may be your unconscious negativity.